Taking the piss
by Lana and Swifty
Summary: The final year has just begun. New emotions, new surprises, new loves are blossoming like a plum tree in the air. Can Draco and Hermione resist temptation? I think not!
1. I need some satisfaction

Taking the piss  
  
A/N: Hi everyone, we're gonna start off by doing 2 Draco/Hermione fanfics. One's stupid - guess which one it is, and the other, let's just say, you won't know what's hit you... oh and none of this crap belongs to us blah blah blah, u get wot we're sayin? So sit back, get a bud and ENJOY.  
  
Hermione awoke to the sweet sounds of the birds singing outside her bedroom window, "Oh my I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts. Gee weez, is that the time already? I need to get dressed."  
  
Over the summer, Hermione had CHANGED, big time. As she looked into the mirror she gasped, she was no longer a girl but she wasn't a woman either. As she looked down onto what just few months ago was a 'flat chest', that even walls were jealous of her, she was now a 34EE. She had filled out in ALL the right places and what use to a bushy bee-hive on the top her head was replaced with long, smooth, silky, sleek chocolaty brown curls which were almost good enough to eat.  
  
She quickly got dressed into her new see-through bikini top which showed off her smooth, golden skin and her new belly button piecing. Something in the corner of her room caught her eye; it was a glittery, sexy belt.  
  
"Umm this would do well as a skirt" Hermione thought to herself, and so that's what she did. She fastened the belt around her tiny waist so that it rested on her curvy hips. Finally she put on her knee-high black leather boots, looked once more in the mirror and was extremely flabbergasted.  
  
"Hermione, sweetie it's time to go," said her mum.  
  
"Coming mother" replied Hermione.  
  
"Oh my goodness" cried Hermione's mother.  
  
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Where on earth did you get that skirt from, it's absolutely GORGEOUS?!"  
  
"Dad bought it for me remember? Right after he brought you those handcuffs."  
  
"Oh yes of course" Hermione's mother blushed, "right then well we better be off."  
  
After Hermione had said goodbye to her mother she passed through the barrier at King's Cross Station and thought to herself, "this year I'm gonna have some fun.." Hermione got on the train and looked around it wondering where her two best friends were. Then, all of a sudden, these two hunky pieces of meat caught her eye, one with flaming red hair and one with jet black.  
  
"Hey! Hermione over here!"  
  
Hermione strutted over swaying her hips from side to side, "Hey big boys, how you doin?"  
  
"It's me sweet thang, Harry"  
  
"Oh Merlin, I don't believe it." She glanced at Ron, "And Ron?"  
  
"That's right sugar plum" replied Ron.  
  
Harry and Ron were not the only ones who had grown over the summer, and they hadn't just grown in one way (if you know what I mean, and Yes Hermione had noticed). Quidditch practice really did the trick. They both had HUGE muscles that she could clearly see from their tight leather pants and white vests. They were both just over 6ft with Harry just an inch taller than Ron. They were, well how can I describe this in one word, HOT.  
  
"Come on let's go and find a carriage" said Harry and so the three of them went in search of one. They found one at the back of the train and sat down.  
  
"Well Hermione you sure have changed" Ron said not taking his eyes away from her chest. Harry had noticed too but was too shocked to speak.  
  
"Yeah well, I figured as it was our last year at Hogwarts I felt it was about time for a change, and now that I'm head girl there are gonna be a few changes around here."  
  
Ron and Harry had a secret glance at each other and smiled. The three of them then got into a deep conversation about what they got up to in the summer.  
  
"Well, you're not gonna believe this, but Fred and George told me that they caught Percy polishing his rocket and lying in front of him was a picture of Dumbledore."  
  
Harry and Hermione both burst out into fits of laughter with Ron joining in. Suddenly Hermione spotted a figure standing at the door, he was absolutely gorgeous with piecing silvery blue eyes and an even bigger frontal area than Harry and Ron.  
  
"Hmmm tasty," Hermione thought to herself. His blonde hair hung loosely over his eyes and his muscles were coming through his silken black shirt with the top few buttons undone.  
  
"Oh look if it isn't scarhead, ginger pubes and...."  
  
Draco couldn't believe his eyes, no way on earth could this beautiful angel be Granger. He looked her up and down, and was getting quite excited. He wanted her more than life itself.  
  
"Is something wrong Malfoy?" Hermione innocently asked.  
  
"No mudblood, the only thing wrong around here is the fact that you're here." Malfoy replied with a smirk. Though secretly he would love to spread mud all over her and lick it off.  
  
"Oh come on Malfoy, haven't you got anything better than that? Do you honestly think I go home crying over you and your petty remarks? Because if you do then maybe your balls are bigger than your brains." Hermione put her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God how on earth did I say that I didn't mean to be looking at that region?" Hermione thought to herself.  
  
"Oh I know you cry over me Granger and the fact that you can't have me, so run along back to your gay boyfriends over there." And with that Draco walked towards the door but before opening it and leaving the carriage he turned back and said, "Oh and Granger, you're probably right with the last few words that you said" He then winked and left.  
  
"That asshole" Ron said.  
  
"Don't think about him Ron, he's not worth it. One of these days he's gonna get it bad. Trust me. Anyway I better go and get changed so if you'll excuse me" and with that Hermione went in search for an empty carriage.  
  
Finally, after looking for about 30 seconds for an empty carriage she found one and began to get undressed.  
  
"Well, well, well if it isn't little Granger but not so little anymore I might add."  
  
"What are you doing in here Malfoy" Hermione answered deep red, trying to cover herself up.  
  
Malfoy moved closer to Hermione causing her to back up against the wall.  
  
"Oh I think you know what I want Granger" Malfoy purred into her ear.  
  
"Go fuck yourself!"  
  
"I'd rather fuck you, thank you very much" Malfoy replied.  
  
"Yeah well, I'd rather fuck a cow than you"  
  
"Oh is that so?"  
  
Malfoy grabbed Hermione's wrists and put them above her head. They were so small and fragile. Their noses were millimetres apart. They could feel each others warm breath against their faces.  
  
Malfoy thought to himself, "She smells like vanilla ice-cream with hundreds and thousands on top."  
  
He wanted to kiss her soft trembling lips so bad and taste the vanilla essence. Hermione was having similar thoughts and couldn't take it anymore. She thrusted her hips towards him and he groaned out aloud. This was all too much and so he lunged in. She tasted delicious; it was like having a bowl of Hagen Dias whilst watching Glitter (Mariah Carey's film).  
  
She felt his tongue touch her mouth and so parted them instantly. The kiss deepened and deepened. They both never wanted it to end. Their tongues fought for domination; it was like two twisters.  
  
They broke apart after several minutes, which seemed like hours, breathless. Neither of them had any idea of what was going to happen next... 


	2. Flying sparks!

A/N: THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOO much for all your reviews they made us so happy. We felt like we weren't worthless any more (hehe). Here's the next chapter so sit back, grab a butterbeer and ENJOY.  
  
Flying Sparks  
  
Ron burst through the carriage door, his face as red as his hair, with a look of pure hatred in his sparkling blue eyes. He charged towards Malfoy, but was thrown back and left unconscious by the sparks that were flying between Draco and Hermione.  
  
"Oh my God, RON!" Hermione cried, she then turned to Draco and asked, "What happened?"  
  
Ron had been electrocuted. He wasn't dead but he wouldn't remember anything that he had seen in the last five minutes. How convenient.  
  
Draco ran his hand through his silky, smooth, scrumptious hair. Hermione wanted to run her hands through it right there and then. His hair was like soft hay blowing on a windy day. Hermione licked her lips and Draco couldn't stand it anymore. He walked over to her, swishing his hair from side to side, in slow motion.  
  
He grabbed her tiny waist and pulled her towards him. They fitted together so perfectly like bottles of coke when you buy them in a multipack. He didn't care what it took he was going to make Granger his.  
  
He took a strand of her hair and started twisting it in his fingers. He slowly bent down and whispered in her ear, "Who cares about limp dick with his ginger stick? All I can think about now is how beautiful you look and how much I want to kiss you."  
  
"Well then kiss me Draco Engelbert Malfoy!"  
  
Shivers ran down Draco's spine by the way she had said his name and he pulled her hair, playfully, and said, "Come here you wild bull!"  
  
This time when they kissed it was even better than the first time, it was soft yet full of passion. Hermione slid her hands up his chest, outlining each muscle as she went up. His shirt was so smooth and silky (probably the fact that it was a silk shirt but oh well); she rapped her arms around his neck to try and bring him closer to her.  
  
He brought his hand down from her hair and rested it on the SMALL of her back while he placed the other on her hip, which was bulging out like an erupting volcano. He then moved his hand slowly up her back, caressing her skin. She wasn't just in his arms; she was meshed to him, her breasts against his chest, hips and thighs close much too close.  
  
So many thoughts were running through Hermione's head, 'He's a Malfoy I can't be doing this, but he's so god damm hot'. She thought about pushing him away but then her mind just went clear when he started nibbling on the sensitive spot of her neck. She couldn't help but let out a moan and she could feel that 'oh so devilish smirk' of Draco's on her neck.  
  
Draco's fingertips slowly worked their way down Hermione's left leg, which sent shivers all through her body. 'How with just his touch can I quiver like I'm having some epileptic fit?' (A/N: sorry if we offend anyone) Hermione asked herself.  
  
All of a sudden, what seemed like the loud sounds of a stamped taking place came coming their way.  
  
Draco removed his mouth from Hermione's neck, which was replaced with Goosebumps due to the loss of his heated touch.  
  
'What the.' Draco began to say but was cut off by none other than the watermelon figured Pansy Parkinson barging through their carriage door.  
  
From the looks of it she was so thick that she hadn't even seen Hermione, only Draco, and began charging towards him. Draco feared for his life as he thought she was going to jump on him.  
  
'Drakie poo, I've been looking everywhere for you' Pansy practically yelled. She held her arms outstretched and ran towards Draco but just as she was about 3 ft away she tripped over something on the floor and fell with a loud thump to the ground. It was Ron she had tripped over and now was lying with half her body on top of him.  
  
'Thank God for that' Draco said and Hermione and himself burst out laughing.  
  
'Do you think she'll be all right? It looks like she might have a concussion.'  
  
Draco pulled Hermione close and whispered softly in her ear 'Who cares gorgeous? Now, where were we?'  
  
Hi sorry it's taken so long to update; the next chapter will be up real soon and will be really steamy. Thanks again for your reviews, they were brilliant. We especially loved the 'Um interesting?' ones. KEEP THEM COMING WE LOVE THEM! 


	3. Thankyou reviewers!

A/N: Hi everyone, this is Lana, I just wanted to say THANKYOU soooo much for reviewing. Sorry we haven't written the next chapter yet but we will do soon. If there's anything u really want in the next chapter just e-mail it to me: Gooniefurlongrules@hotmail.com or 2 swifty at Shimmy51@aol.com. We think u r all gr8.  
  
I-LOVE-SPENCER: Gee thanx, sorry who r u?  
  
The otaku of superness: Thankyou. I like ur name  
  
Fluffy-chan: Thanks  
  
Annapooh: Thankyou for your thoughtful and very detailed review.  
  
Clemintina: Thanks a lot  
  
Anaita: Thanks that means a lot.  
  
Cat: Tim? Thanks anyway  
  
Pervymalfoyfancier; Cheers Kim, u rock. Love ya loads.  
  
Razzie: I know wot u mean mrs welling and don't worry that Englebert was especially for u lol.  
  
Avestia: Thanku so much, I love ur review  
  
Water-princess123: Thanku, don't worry the new chap will be up soon. I hope u send the hungarian horntail after us, now that would be a challenge.  
  
Ginbra: Thanx I absolutely loved ur review and your so true.  
  
To 'how pathetic get a hobby' who left no name: I just wanted 2 say thanku and because of u I have got a hobby. What I do is read people's ffs and then leave gay reviews. So thanks for the inspiration.  
  
MrS-dRaCo-MaLfOy: THANKS. Your review is so sweet. I bet you are good at comedy. I know what you mean Draco is a sex god.  
  
Draco-fan: Thankyou, I loved ur review too. I'm feeling sorry for Ron, I mean he's probably suffocating with her lying on top of him lol.  
  
Thuglovein229: Thanks, it will definitely get more steamy but there will be some surprises on the way.  
  
Nacissa Black Malfoy: Thanks for your review. It's how can I say this its wicked lol.  
  
Wicked lady: Thanx and we'll try and update soon.  
  
Like I'm gonna tell u that: Thanks, I like the picture (",)  
  
Pixel-the-evil-fairy: Thanks  
  
Narci-babe15: Thanku so much-perfect? Woteva lol  
  
Lifes-mysteries18: Gee thanx I think ur a bit of a mystery urself.  
  
2 chickens named penguin and duckie: Thanx I loved ur review  
  
Silverpen: U didn't manage to hunt us down I see, I don't know if uve read the second chapter yet, ill send it 2 u. Thanks and I think ur right.  
  
Fiery slut: Thanks ur review was brilliant. Well being a 34EE myself-jokes, yeah she probably has to drag herself across the floor but oh well ;) U can thank swifty 4 the glitter part that's her favourite film.  
  
Toms_cutie_pie: Thanku ur review was rufis joke it was really cool. Hope u like the next chapter.  
  
Deanna: Thanx a lot. Yeah I just knew we had to get Percy somewhere in there lol.  
  
Hpdreamer15: Cheers, love ur review.  
  
PyScHoJo: Thanx, we really loved ur review, maybe we shud have her boobs explode in the next chapter, that might help her a bit lol.  
  
Ast*p: THANKS. I loved ur review it had me laughing, 'I salute u' that's wicked (",)  
  
-: Thanks sorry u didn't leave a name just a dash so if u know who u r thanks 4 ur review.  
  
WiCkEd_AnD_cHaRmEd: I think we r quite insane. Thanks 4 ur review.  
  
Katya-Urban: I'm really glad we cheered u up. Thanks a lot 4 u review, we loved it.  
  
Courtney*Raposo: Thanx Courtney, hope u enjoy the next chapter.  
  
OvlaSiD: Thankyou, the second chapters up so read it and c wot u think.  
  
Milehigh: Thanku for ur review especially the ginger pubes, we thought that suited him well 2.  
  
Jadziadaxx: Thanku so much, I love ur review and we're glad we cud make u laugh out loud.  
  
Celestial Angel: Thanx, I didn't notice she had changed THAT much (just kidding).  
  
Red of rose: Thanx hope u like the next chapter.  
  
HyberKat: Thanku sooo much. Urs was the first review that we received and we were so happy. I cudn't stop smiling for like an hour so thankyou. We think u rock. 


	4. When two become one

A/N: Hi everyone sorry we haven't updated in ages but I had to go to Ireland and Leeds and Swifty's been away as well. We dedicate this especially to Kim, Rachel and Alba the devoted ff readers. Thankyou so much for your reviews. They're brilliant. Anyway sit back, imagine grabbing Draco's ass (or Snape's whoever you prefer) and ENJOY.  
  
When two become one  
  
Draco went back to kissing Hermione's neck and all of Hermione's thoughts were cleared from her mind. Slowly Draco moved his hand down the front of Hermione's neck, his fingers drawing pictures of butterflies and flowers, tulips to be precise (things which he found fascinating when he was becoming a man) on her creamy skin.  
  
He was so caught up in kissing Hermione that he removed his arm from her back to her hair. He thought that the wall would support her but was wrong because as soon as he did this Hermione fell to the floor as her knees were so weak and she couldn't support herself, because Draco was just too dreamy.  
  
She was now lying with her back on the floor and a grin spread across Draco's face.  
  
"Well now, isn't this convenient Granger?"  
  
"How so?" Hermione asked in an innocent but quite teasingly way.  
  
Draco stood over Hermione and kneeled down.  
  
"Well, now I've got the power. You have surrendered to me and I may do whatever I please to you."  
  
"Really Mr. Malfoy? And what exactly are you planning on doing?" Hermione asked, a smile slowly forming across her angelic face.  
  
Draco held her hands up captive above her head and kissed her passionately. He just couldn't seem to get enough of her. Why? Was the question he kept asking himself. Was it because she resembled his father who he adored so much? No, that wasn't it. She was just so.perfect. Every time he was close to her it would bring back memories of his happy childhood when he use to look out of his bedroom window and watch the seasons change.  
  
Without breaking away from the kiss Draco slowly moved his hand down to Hermione's right breast. It was so big it took him about 2 minutes to draw a circle around it. Hermione shivered as he did this. It felt so exotic, like a peacock running. Draco did the same with the other one and then attempted to take off her boob tube. It was much harder work than he had expected. The thing was just so damn tight. After a minute or three he got frustrated and decided to use his wand to get it off.  
  
Draco pointed the wand at Hermione's chest and said 'Titus appearo'.  
  
Immediately the boob tube vanished and Draco stopped breathing. The sight that lay in front of him was so ravishing. His eyes felt like they were burning. Hermione could see the desire in his eyes; they looked like they were on fire.  
  
Then all of a sudden Draco covered his eyes with his hands.  
  
"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.  
  
"My eyes, they're burning".  
  
Hermione blushed and closed her eyes. Draco could say such sweet things. The fact that she could make his eyes light up with burning desire put a smile on her face.  
  
"Oh Draco", Hermione whispered.  
  
"Aaaaaarrrrghhhhhhh"  
  
Hermione's eyes flew open and all she could see were flames coming out of Draco's eyes. Draco didn't realise that the spell he used on removing Hermione's clothes had side effects for the person who said the spell.  
  
"Accio wand!" Hermione cried. Her wand flew towards her. She pointed it at Draco and said "washo occulus"  
  
The fire burned out and Draco's eyes were back to their sparkling gorgeous blue.  
  
"Thanks" Draco said softly  
  
"Anytime.Engelbert" Hermione replied.  
  
Draco shivered. Hermione then kneeled in front of Draco and began unbuttoning his shirt.  
  
"I think it's time I saw your magnificent body now."  
  
"Oh I know an easier way of taking my shirt off than that."  
  
"No Draco. No more of your spells"  
  
"Oh we don't need a spell for this", and Draco tensed up his muscles and his shirt split right down the middle.  
  
"Woah!! You're like the incredible hulk"  
  
"Isn't he some green monster?" Draco asked with one of his eyebrows arched.  
  
"Oh just shut up and kiss me."  
  
Draco did as he was told. The feel of her breasts against his bare chest was just incredible. It reminded him of the time his father got implants and pressed up against him. Of course his dad only got them because of an accident that happened at work. It's not like he went and got them on purpose or anything. He wouldn't do that now, would he?  
  
Draco pushed Hermione back so that she was lying on the floor and began moving his fingers up her leg teasing her. Hermione felt like she was having spasms but pleasurable ones.  
  
He began pulling her skirt/belt down when Hermione stopped him and said,  
  
"Draco, I don't know how to say this, but, I-I've never, um, sort of done, er, this, um, before.  
  
Draco looked into her eyes. They reminded him of apples. She looked so adorable, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes blazing (not as bad as his were previously though).  
  
"Do you want me to stop?" He asked even though he didn't think he'd be able to stop not now anyway.  
  
"No" Hermione said quickly. "I just thought you should know."  
  
Draco smiled which reassured Hermione. She also smiled which gave a sign for Draco to continue what he was doing. He took off her belt and his own trousers and threw them across the room. He didn't realise that the window was open and the clothes flew out of it.  
  
'Oh well. who cares? They're just clothes and I prefer to be one with nature anyway' Draco thought to himself.  
  
He then started kissing and sucking on Hermione's flesh (like when the granddad sucks on Sally's finger in Texas chainsaw massacre if anyone's seen that) that was just above her panties. He managed to pull them off with his teeth ("Oh u wild unicorn!" was the response to that from Hermione) and all that was left in front of him was this 34 EE angel lying naked in front of him. He forgot where he was or who he was for a moment all he could do was sit there looking at this beautiful creature.  
  
'I could really take her ass and eat it with a spoon, she's that beautiful' Draco thought to himself.  
  
Hermione managed to pull his boxers off and her face felt like she had her head in a fire. His 'thing' was extremely large. To her it looked like some sort of recorder or saxophone. She wanted to touch it but felt afraid.  
  
Draco read her expressions easily and whispered, "Go on. touch it, sure, it may look like a snake and feel like one too, but it won't bite."  
  
Hermione chuckled softly and gently placed her fingers on it. The pleasure Draco felt was just amazing he couldn't describe it. This was 1000x better than the film Glitter.  
  
'Jesus! (A/N: sorry God) get a hold of yourself Draco.' He thought to himself.  
  
'She's only touching it and you're getting all hot'  
  
'Well I have always been extremely hot' the other part of Draco's brain told him, reminding him of the time he got an award for being extremely hot at fat camp. But that was ages ago.  
  
'You know what I mean'  
  
Draco couldn't wait any longer, he bent over her and asked, "Are you sure you want to do this?" He regretted asking the moment the words spilt out of his mouth in case she said no.  
  
"More than ever" Hermione replied feeling so happy that he was asking her permission. She would have preferred a permission slip with parental consent but 'oh who cares about that at this moment?' Hermione thought to herself.  
  
Draco kissed her softly on the lips and then tried placing his hands on her hips, which he found rather difficult, as they were extremely large, but in a wonderful way.  
  
Finally after what seemed like an eternity to the two of them the recorder met the furball and the wonderful dance between them began. It was like line dancing. Oh the joy.  
  
At first Hermione found it rather uncomfortable but once he had broken through the barrier and she had got over the small amount of pain. She started to feel amazing.  
  
Draco began moving in and out of her slowly at first trying to get her use to his 'possession' but the tension was just too much for him and he began to build up speed, like a zebra.  
  
Hermione couldn't stop moaning," Maths, Chemistry, Triple Physics..Ohhh", she couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth actually belonged to her (duh who else?) but she was so lost up in the heat of the moment that she didn't care.  
  
As he moved in and out of her, her hips came up to meet his. Draco couldn't believe how good he felt. Sure he'd had sex before but this; this wasn't just sex, it was magical lovemaking. With Hermione it was as if he was floating up into the sky with the nimbostratus clouds, they were in their own little world together and no one could ever be there with them.  
  
Hermione felt as if she was about to explode, like moments before a stink bomb, their lips connected and with one last thrust pleasure washed over her, she threw her head back and cried out 'Draco ENGELBERT'. At the exact same moment Draco reached his peak and Hermione's name rolled off his tongue. Neither of them could believe what had just happened, they had to pinch themselves to make sure they weren't dreaming. Draco rolled over onto his side and pulled Hermione close to him.  
  
"That was incredible" he whispered softly into her ear.  
  
"Well you are the incredible hulk remember?" Hermione said and together they fell asleep with Draco's lips curled up into a smile against Hermione's skin. But their happiness wasn't going to last for long...  
  
A/N: Hey every1, hope u liked it! Please review and tell us what u did like and what u did like! If you have any ideas about the future plotline, let either me or Lana know! We'll try and update as soon as possible, until then.... 


	5. Facing Reality

A/N: Hey guys, sorry we haven't updated in so long but we're BACK! We were lost but now we're found, were dead but now we're alive! Neways sit back, grab some 'hot stuff' chocolate and ENJOY!  
  
Facing Reality  
  
Draco woke up and sitting in front of him was Granger with his famous smirk on her face and clothed!  
  
"Have a nice dream there Malfoy?" Hermione asked with a smile. At first when Hermione found him sleeping in the head compartment she couldn't believe it. She didn't know if she would be able to cope this year with Malfoy being head boy but now she wasn't sure. Perhaps she could have some fun.  
  
"Huh?" Draco replied 'You mean to tell me that was all a dream. GOD DAMMIT!' Draco thought to himself. 'It felt so real.' Apparently after he had had that brief encounter with the golden trio he had come to the head compartment and fallen asleep.  
  
"It sure sounded like one 'Oooh baby, touch me there, yeah that's it!.' Who were you dreaming of Professor Snape?" Hermione asked and burst out laughing.  
  
"If only you knew" Draco replied looking directly into her eyes.  
  
'Man is it hot in here?' Hermione thought to herself and looked away from Draco's sexy silver eyes.  
  
"We better get changed, we'll be there soon." She couldn't bear to look at that gorgeous face that resembled tinned peaches in syrup; it was just too much.  
  
Draco sure didn't want Hermione to go and change into those boring shapeless school robes and so secretly when Hermione wasn't looking, he pulled out his wand (no euphemism intended) and locked the door. Hermione got up and went to the door but realised it was jammed.  
  
"The door's stuck. That's strange, I managed to come in here just fine."  
  
"Perhaps Dumbledore wants us to stay here until they come and get us. Come back and sit down. We can talk, maybe even find a connection," Draco replied with a wiggle of his eyebrows.  
  
"Talk? About what? We're enemies remember?"  
  
"Are we? Coz you know we don't have to be." Draco replied smoothly, like oxo gravy, whilst slowly getting up and walking towards Hermione.  
  
Hermione just stood there frozen to the spot, for once in her life she couldn't think straight and didn't know what to do.  
  
"I've been having dreams about you Hermione, really bad dreams."  
  
Hermione gulped. 'He used my first name, oh Merlin, I love how he says it.'  
  
"How do you mean?" she asked.  
  
"Are you sure you want to comprehend amigo?" Draco answered; now being only ten feet away to where Hermione stood.  
  
"I-I'm not sure."  
  
Draco was now standing in front of Hermione and put his arms either side of her head.  
  
"Well, they start off with me kissing you, like this". Draco gently placed a butterfly kiss on the sensitive part of Hermione's neck and she shivered all over.  
  
"Uh huh" Hermione managed to get out.  
  
"Then I brush one of your beautiful curly tendrils behind your ear, like this." Draco whispered whilst carrying out the action he had just said.  
  
Hermione now had her eyes closed, she couldn't wait to see what he was going to do next. She was quivering in anticipation like a jellied eel.  
  
"And then I kiss you on the lips, like this." He whispered extremely quietly that Hermione could just about hear him. And as he bent down, with just a milimeter of space between them, the door Hermione was resting on flew open and Hermione toppled to the ground bringing Draco down with her.  
  
"Hermione, we've been looking everywhere for yo-" Ron began saying but stopped himself when he realised he was talking to the back of Malfoy's head. "What the hell is going on?" He shouted.  
  
Draco had landed with his head on Hermione's chest. Just then Harry turned up on the scene.  
  
"Ron what on earth are you shouting abou- " He began to say, when he too saw this suspicious predicament at his feet. "What the hell?"  
  
Hermione was at a loss for words so Draco stepped in.  
  
"Look I'm sorry Granger but you're just not my type." He then stood up, dusted himself off, looked at Harry and Ron and said, "Girls these days, just can't seem to get enough." Ron went to jump on Draco but Harry pulled him back and jumped on him instead.  
  
"Oh yessss" and "Get the hell away from me Potter!" was all that could be heard. Harry had just pounced on Draco and was now rubbing his cheek against his torso. Whilst this was going on Hermione was still in her daze about Draco's lips being less than an inch away from hers. 'Oh he smelt like rice cakes' she thought to herself, 'ummm'. Suddenly she took in her surroundings and realised what was happening. She jumped on Harry's back to get him away from Draco.  
  
Harry's pendulum had started to swing the other way, I guess you could say, this summer what with getting his belly button pierced with a pink fluffy belly button ring and seeming rather interested in Hermione's posters of the top 100 hunks; however she didn't think anything of it. She just wanted another chance to get close to Draco without Harry and Ron suspecting anything.  
  
"HARRY, what are you doing?" Hermione shouted into his ear  
  
Harry slowly opened his eyes and realised that he had got carried away. Just slightly though. 'Oh Bummer,' he thought to himself. 'How can I get out of this one?' He slowly got off Draco and said.  
  
"Yeah! That's what you get for coming near our Hermione. So in future stay away!"  
  
"Jesus Potter, do that again and I will kill you, literally." Draco said with a confused look on his face. 'What the hell just happened? Oh well life goes on' he thought to himself.  
  
Once again he got up from the carriage floor and walked away but just as he was about to walk out the door he quickly wrapped an arm around Granger's waist and kissed her.  
  
Hermione was caught completely off guard and all she felt were these velvet soft lips on hers. All she could do was moan, they felt so good. Before she could get the chance to respond Draco had pulled away and whispered huskily in her ear, "C ya later Granger" and with that he was gone.  
  
"You certainly will Malfoy, I'll make sure of it." Hermione said to herself, her lips quirking into the beginning of a smile before she remembered Harry and Ron. 'Oh my God, they didn't see did they?' But sure to her luck, they didn't. Ron was standing there still in shock from seeing Harry 'with' Draco. Harry, on the other hand, was rolling around on the floor like a blanched beetroot, smelling it trying to take in Draco's heavenly scent.  
  
'Boys these days' Hermione thought to herself, 'they can sure be retarded losers'.  
  
A/N: Remember to REVIEW! Oh and p.s. sorry if we offended anyone with the last sentence. (",) 


	6. Can't take my eyes off you

**Hi guys, so sorry it's taken us so long 2 update, we kinda started another story not related to Harry Potter and it's kept us busy. Neways hope u enjoy the next chapter. So sit back stick on sum brilliant rock n roll or cheesy boy band music and relax! **

**Can't take my eyes off you**

It was now nine o' clock and everyone was gathered in the great hall all in high spirits about being back with their friends in their fantastic school. Ron's face had turned purple as he refused to take time from eating and breathe, however a good punch in the back from Seamus made him see the light again.

"Seamus!" Ron cried out, "You saved my life."

"Ah sure, it was nothing." Seamus replied in his strong Irish accent, pretending not to notice the sexy looks of approval coming from the girls from the Ravenclaw table.

He had grown into quite a dish over the summer. The Golden trio thought he would never grow, what with being only 4ft 8 before the summer, and that was at the ripe age of sixteen. However, they were wrong and the young man standing in front of them was in Hermione's opinion, one fine chunky piece of meat. However as she admired his new found sexiness she couldn't help but think of how he wasn't a patch on Draco.

'Oh Draco' she thought to herself, the name itself just screamed sex god. She had tried not to think about him since the eventful train journey, yet could not keep the image of his lips on hers out of her mind. Slowly she lifted her head up and looked straight ahead.

She couldn't believe it when his silver eyes met her golden ones; he had been staring at her all the time. She thought she felt a burning sensation as if someone was watching her but just thought it was Harry blow-drying his hair with the portable hairdryer she had bought him for his birthday. She caught him using it a lot. Suddenly Draco's lips began to move and what looked like the words, "I want you" escaped from his mouth. Hermione began to tingle all over. She wanted to look away but couldn't, it was like he was a pine and she was an apple. Together they would be perfect; a pineapple. He continued staring at her, licking his lips seductively and blowing kisses when he suddenly stopped and a look of disgust came over him. Hermione followed his gaze and her eyes fell on Harry who was seductively licking his lips at Draco!

"Oh my God Harry, what the hell are you doing?" Hermione shouted, causing many people to abruptly stop talking and look at them.

Harry's face had now turned bright red.

"I…I…I…."

"Well…spit it out!"

"I was just admiring Pansy's beauty." Harry replied weakly.

"What?" Hermione and Ron both asked, food being sprayed all over the table from the latter.

"You weren't even staring at Pansy, you were staring at Draco!" Hermione sternly told Harry however a bit quieter than before as she didn't want to humiliate her best friend.

"I was doing no such thing." Harry lied, "I happen to find Pansy very attractive, I like a girl with a bit of meat on them."

"A bit of meat!" Ron shouted, "She's so fat she needs a paint roller to put on her lipstick. And it's not a very nice one at that! Also I bet if you went to kiss her she'd probably swallow you!" However the mention of meat brought Ron back to his glorious food and once again he tucked in to his delicious meal.

"Yes that cool strawberry shade doesn't quite suit her does it? Maybe if she tries this gorgeous pouffy pink…." Harry carried on with great intensity.

"What the hell!" Ron exclaimed while dipping his carrots in Thousand Island dressing.

"Erm….I was um just er reiterating what you were saying Ron, that lipstick is foul. ERR!" was all Harry could muster while trying to pull a disgusted face but was actually eyeing up Draco from the corner of his eye.

"Well if that's the case Harry, perhaps you wouldn't mind me putting a word in for you, perhaps setting you two up on a date, I heard Pansy's been single for quite a while now," Ron added.

Harry's face turned pale but before he had time to protest, Dumbledore took to the stand and made his yearly announcement.

"Welcome back to Hogwarts students, I'm sure you've all had a wonderful holiday. Now before I go on rambling about the school rules I'd like to introduce you to your new head boy and girl."

'Oh my God' Hermione thought to herself, 'Who's the Head Boy?'

"Will everyone please give a round of applause to Mr Draco Malfoy and Miss Hermione Granger."

Hermione couldn't believe it, 'Draco head boy! When did this happen?'

She was so lost in translation that she didn't even acknowledge Ron and Harry pushing her up. Draco stood up at the exact same time with a smirk plastered across his face. He knew very well that Granger was going to be head girl there was no doubt about that and plans of what he was going to do to her had already began to erupt in his mind.

All Hermione could hear were wolf whistles and the clapping of hands (as well as the odd monkey cry and frog ribit) as she looked straight ahead at this young man who was supposed to be her enemy; she couldn't help but think of how much she wanted to run over to him and snog him senseless.

Draco was having the exact same thoughts yet knew how to control his emotions. However the lust in Hermione's eyes was too much too handle and he was thankful he was wearing baggy robes. All of a sudden he felt a tug near his groin section which he wasn't too pleased about and looked down at the pugged face Pansy Parkinson.

Images of her lying on the compartment floor sprang to mind leaving a smile on his face but then he remembered it was only a dream.

"If only it wasn't,'" he thought to himself looking over at Hermione once more before taking his seat.

"Well did you miss me sugar pumpkin?" Pansy asked while trying to slide her leg over his which she found extremely difficult as her leg alone weighed eleven stone. They had to combine five chairs together to make her a seat comfortable enough to sit on.

"You betcha Pansy, now why don't you give me a kiss to show me how much you love me." Draco replied staying exactly where he was which was less than a metre away from her face. He nearly wet himself as he watched Pansy struggle to move her weight around so that she could kiss him; although to him it would mean the kiss of death – literally. Firstly she lifted her left leg up with her arm and, moved it to the side, then she painfully picked up her other leg and moved it so that it touched her other one. She then swivelled her hips and attempted to extend her arms out to wrap around Draco but her rather large belly obstructed her from doing so. After five minutes of complete agony trying to move to the left half a metre, Pansy was finally face to face with Draco Malfoy and her eyes that was sunken into her face burned with desire.

Draco's laughing fit had now abruptly stopped and his face was replaced with a look of fear. He tried backing away but found he couldn't as Pansy's sausage arm was holding his.

"Well Drakey your wish will now come true." As Pansy said this, her slobbery tongue, which was unusually long and thin, came out of her mouth and was heading towards Draco. He began moving his head back as far as he possibly could, and started panicking. He was doomed; there was no way out. It was like being trapped in a box with nothing but Rik Waller and a slice of ham to share. Oh the torment. Just as he thought darkness was about to consume him, a figure pushed Pansy back and pulled Draco off his seat.

He acknowledged a soft feminine hand in his before anything else and knew exactly who it was.

"Granger you are incredible, do you know that?" Draco said whilst turning to his right and coming face to face with professor McGonagall.

"Urgh sick!" He shouted whilst releasing his hand from hers, "What the fu-?"

"Now, now Mr Malfoy" Professor McGonagall interrupted, "I am here to escort you and Miss Granger to your living quarters." As she said this Hermione appeared from behind her with a huge grin she was weakly attempting to hide.

"Stop smiling Granger that was awful." Draco told her but found himself smiling as Hermione's own smile got bigger.

'Man, this girl is toxic' he thought to himself and followed Professor McGonagall and Hermione out of the hall.

"As you both know, you will both be sharing living quarters, which means a shared lounge and bathroom, but you will have separate bedrooms," Professor McGonagall said while leading them up the stairs.

After many twists and turns, they finally arrived at a hallway. The hallway itself was breathtaking; filled with silks and satins of every imaginable colour. There was a slight aroma of ice cream too. At the end of the hallway was a portrait of man wearing a pink leotard singing _I'm every woman _by Witchy Houston (a famous singer in the magical world). Hermione automatically thought of Harry and remembered the time she caught him wearing a pink leotard while cleaning his room. He had told her that it was a good way of keeping the dust bites away. She sometimes kinda got the feeling that something wasn't quite right with Harry, but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

"Right, here we are you two," Professor McGonagall said while pointing to the portrait, "This is Eric Shin, he'll be guarding your dormitories for you. He's already pre-picked a password for you – it's _princess Consuelo banana hammock._"

Hermione and Draco nearly burst out laughing, "I wonder why he chose that," Draco managed to add before bursting out into laughter. And with that Professor McGonagall told them to hush down before giggling herself and leaving them to get acquainted with the Eric.

Hermione thought she was about to faint when she saw Draco; he was so damn sexy when he laughed. Draco was thinking along the same lines but he simply couldn't take it any longer, "Right come on Granger, I can't stand this tension anymore - PRINCESS CONSUELO BANANA HAMMOCK!" he said seductively while grabbing her by the waist and pulling her into their new dormitory. The portrait closed. What happened next was unimaginable; something the both of them could have never dreamed of…

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